I weigh almost as much as I did
at Week 5. And I’m eating a white chocolate cranberry shortbread cookie as I
write this. It tastes like it’s made entirely of butter. Yes, this train is
slowing down.
We’re now at the halfway point
for Choose 2 Lose and one of the participants already lost 24 pounds. How is this
possible? I’m curious to know his tactics.
Within the last couple of weeks,
my strategy seamlessly shifted from exercising daily and sticking to portion
sizes to exercising less than 30 minutes a day (if at all) and consuming a lot
more candy. I prefer Sugar Babies and Mike and Ike.
It all started to fall apart when
I got sick. I put off exercising and focused on getting better. Then Laura got
sick… and our hot water tank was leaking… and the carpet was ruined… and I had
to tear it up… and I had to pay for emergency service to replace the water tank…
and Chloe got sick… then Laura and Chloe were sick… and they’re still sick… and
I may be getting sick again. So I drowned my sorrows with bags of buttered
popcorn, bottles of soda and the sheer joy of being a lard ass.
Reality hit when I stepped on the
official Choose 2 Lose scale. After all my efforts, I only lost one pound. Over
the last week or so, I gained back four of the five pounds I lost, thus shaming
my team, city and state.
At the moment, I’m focusing all
my energy on avoiding the super virus that’s taken over Laura. I didn’t
exercise today and I may not do so tomorrow. I need to beat this illness before
it has a chance to take over. That’s my number one priority. It’s all about
health, right?
“But, Jon, I exercise when I’m
sick. It makes me stronger.”
Well good for you, anonymous
super fit exercise guru. I’m a sissy and I like cookies. Give me the weekend
and I’ll be 100%. I have another six weeks to go. It’s still anyone’s game.
