The Future of My Fat

According to the official Choose 2 Lose scale, I lost seven pounds!

But I’ve also bulked up in muscle. Here’s a photo of me flexing (or “sucking it in” as some may say)…

 And here’s another…

I worked hard for that seven pounds, but I know I could’ve worked harder. I got off track several times and when I was off track, I was off track for a while. I would go a whole week or two without running.

Since I was a member of the Choose 2 Lose Committee (a subcommittee of Asbury Heights' Wellness Committee), I had the luxury of talking with many of the participants. Everyone was eager to lose weight. Some people wouldn’t eat lunch until they weighed in. A few others wouldn’t eat anything all day. And while it was nice to see everyone so focused on losing weight, it was a bit unsettling to hear what people were doing to get there. And honestly, many of the participants were at a healthy weight to begin with. Why were they so desperate to lose more?

We’ve all heard it before:  Society puts pressure on everyone to be slim and attractive.  Blah, blah, blah. Well, what’s society? A group of people, right? Why can’t we (the people) settle for healthy? Why the hell are we so obsessed with being “magazine cover hot”?

Lindsey Smith had it right a few days ago…

It's not about being skinny, it's about being healthy.
— Lindsey Smith (@LindseySmithHHC) May 6, 2013

She’s spot on. Choose 2 Lose was about getting healthy, not starving for the grand prize or that skinny summer body. Heck, maybe the committee wasn’t that clear… and maybe I was starting to fall into that trap too.

Seven pounds is fine. I’m happy with that. I’m living a healthy life and I’m happy with my body. Like anything else, the body needs maintenance. Exercising regularly and not eating a lot of junk is what it takes. That’s basically what I’ve discovered these last 12 weeks. And yes, I still eat junk food but less of it.

Okay, that’s probably all the “healthy blogger” I have in me, but it was nice regularly posting to a blog. I may have to resurrect Jonfiction or Gray Collars soon.

Week 11: Running Outside Calls for Stop at Hospital

I weigh a little over two pounds. I’m now below my birth weight! This competition is mine!

Okay, so the battery needs replaced in the scale. This will need to happen before next week since Monday is the beginning of the end – the final weigh-in week!

To say that the last month has been unproductive is a major understatement. I’ve started eating more, drinking more pop and exercising once a week (if that). I haven’t (seriously) weighed myself in a few weeks and, well, I’ve lost steam. Did you notice there haven’t been as many shirtless photos lately? My winter body and it’s layer of chub has decided to stick around for another month or so and it’s just embarrassing at this point. Like March, I went into this competition with the ferocity of a lion and whimpered out like a lamb… or maybe a fat 30-year-old lion.

When the weather started getting nice last week, I decided to take my fat lion ass out to the streets. “See you later, treadmill!” I said as I headed out the door. Yes, I really said it.

I was a little shy about running along the street at first because I knew there would be a bunch of people looking at me as they drove by. (I know this because I do this when I drive.) But the nervousness washed away into the gutter as I tried to run uphill. Yes, run up a hill. It wasn’t long before I was walking uphill.

And I discovered something while I was out and about: Running on concrete hurts like hell! Every time my feet hit the pavement, it felt as though by bones were slowly starting to break apart. My brain felt as though it was bouncing and sloshing in my skull. It was torture.

I ran (but mostly walked) from Asbury Heights to St. Clair Hospital. I thought about going into the hospital for treatment, but I just sat on a bench near the entrance for about five minutes. I am weak.

But I did some more running on the way back, so I wasn’t totally beat. One of my coworkers (who runs in her sleep) ran passed me less than a quarter mile away from work. After she passed, I did my best to keep up with her until we were back on the Asbury campus. She had no idea I was behind her until we entered the campus. I startled her and she said she thought I was a dog. I know I’m hairy, but I don’t think I have as much hair as a dog. Maybe it was because she heard me panting.

“Let’s keep going,” she said as we ran up the slight grade of the road leading to the main building. To make a long story slightly shorter, I ran up the slight hill to the main building, but I walked the rest of the way once I reached the level. I was pure deadness.

There’s one more week. Should I give it my best shot? I’m not sure, but I am sure of one thing: Trying to get fit (and lose your tubby tummy) is tough. I really didn’t have a lot to lose and it was STILL hard for me. I can’t imagine how difficult it is for someone completely out of shape. Damn.

Next post:  My final Choose 2 Lose weight and the future of my fat.

Weeks 8, 9 and 10: Can I Start Over Again?

I (still) weigh 164 pounds. At least I’m consistent.

This is a lot harder than I imagined. It’s even harder to control my eating habits while living with a pregnant wife. We always seem to have cake and cookies and pop and ice cream on hand. And Easter chocolates and sugary treats didn’t help either. I exercise three times a week (if I’m lucky) and I’ve been sitting around a lot more thanks to a free month of Netflix.

But since I still weigh 164 pounds, I’ve only crashed and not yet burned. I can still come out ahead, but I don’t think I’ll be the winner in this competition. Someone already lost over 20 pounds, and he’s carrying his team (The Slim Jims) to victory. I’m about to snap into a Slim Jim. Eat me.

So how did I lose momentum? Life happened. I became preoccupied by a multitude of things: switching cable providers, buying a new hot water tank, getting sick and tearing up the carpet in my basement. These things took priority over sit-ups and treadmills, but I’m okay with that. I live an adult life and I gots to do what I gots to do!

On the bright side, I’ve already made some lasting changes. I no longer eat such large portions and I don’t eat an entire bag of potato chips for lunch during the week. I used to say that I would only run if chased by a lion, but I find myself running… for fun! This may change whenever I start running outside, but thanks to the practice I’ve already had, I’m confident that I can outrun any lion that may come my way.

Week 7: Setbacks

I weigh almost as much as I did at Week 5. And I’m eating a white chocolate cranberry shortbread cookie as I write this. It tastes like it’s made entirely of butter. Yes, this train is slowing down.

We’re now at the halfway point for Choose 2 Lose and one of the participants already lost 24 pounds. How is this possible? I’m curious to know his tactics.

Within the last couple of weeks, my strategy seamlessly shifted from exercising daily and sticking to portion sizes to exercising less than 30 minutes a day (if at all) and consuming a lot more candy. I prefer Sugar Babies and Mike and Ike.

It all started to fall apart when I got sick. I put off exercising and focused on getting better. Then Laura got sick… and our hot water tank was leaking… and the carpet was ruined… and I had to tear it up… and I had to pay for emergency service to replace the water tank… and Chloe got sick… then Laura and Chloe were sick… and they’re still sick… and I may be getting sick again. So I drowned my sorrows with bags of buttered popcorn, bottles of soda and the sheer joy of being a lard ass.

Reality hit when I stepped on the official Choose 2 Lose scale. After all my efforts, I only lost one pound. Over the last week or so, I gained back four of the five pounds I lost, thus shaming my team, city and state.

At the moment, I’m focusing all my energy on avoiding the super virus that’s taken over Laura. I didn’t exercise today and I may not do so tomorrow. I need to beat this illness before it has a chance to take over. That’s my number one priority. It’s all about health, right?

“But, Jon, I exercise when I’m sick. It makes me stronger.”

Well good for you, anonymous super fit exercise guru. I’m a sissy and I like cookies. Give me the weekend and I’ll be 100%. I have another six weeks to go. It’s still anyone’s game.

Week 6: Sick

It was a very uneventful week (in regards to exercise). I called off sick and didn’t use the treadmill until today… and I only ran/walked a mile. I didn’t want to overdo it, but I did have a chance to weigh myself and it looks like I lost another two pounds without even trying. Sorry, no picture.

I did get a little exercise on Wednesday when I tried to extract water from the carpet in my basement after the hot water tank leaked all over the place. I somehow ended up doing squats (bending down for maximum suction, lifting up for maximum extraction). I was feeling it in the backs of my legs for days. Despite my hours of extracting with a wet/dry vac, the carpet is ruined and will need replaced. Oh well.

So there’s not much to report this week. Next week is the midway weigh-in. By this time next week, we’ll know the leading team in this year’s Choose 2 Lose competition.

Stay posted!

Week 5: My Neck, My Back, I Do Sit Ups and I Crack

I weigh exactly the same as I did last week.

Since one of my goals is to beef up my abs, I’ve been doing more sit-ups. And, as usual, they kill my back. Some suggest that I may be putting too much of my neck into it. Others say I may need to beef up my back muscles before I can get into sit-ups. Whatever the case may be, when I try to do more than 10 sit-ups at a time, my lower back starts to hurt and I wiggle around on the floor in pain. Chloe thinks it’s funny. And then she jumps on me. And bounces.

I’ve been trying to strengthen my back muscles by lying face down and lifting my right arm and left leg at the same time and then alternating. A co-worker of mine introduced me to this exercise in an empty public space. Luckily, nobody walked in. It could have been awkward.

A few people have suggested doing planks. This was the first image that came to mind…

But after doing some research, I realized it’s more like this…

I’ll give this a try… later.

On the plus side, I’m running more and walking less. I was able to run a solid 30 minutes a couple days last week. My fellow Lean Squirrel caught me in action.

As you can see, I’m now so thin that my legs just seem to fade away. Success! 

Week 4: I Sweat More

I weigh 164 pounds (or so).

And I sweat more.

A lot more.

Those who know me very well are familiar with the area around my left wrist known as my “sweat spot”. It’s a small area just below my hand that arbitrarily sweats profusely. It could be hot, cold or even room temperature and my wrist would just bead with sweat. It’s kind of gross, but I’ve had it all my life. Some people think it’s an overactive sweat gland. Who really knows? I’ve never bothered to ask a doctor about it.

My sweat spot reached its prime in my youth. It would sweat all of the time. If I ever placed my hands in my lap while it was flowing, I would end up with a big round wet spot in an area where wet spots are least desirable.

But the last few years have been relatively dry. I could leave my hands in my lap without fear of a wet spot. I thought maybe as I was getting older, the sweat spot was drying up... until this week.

I’m not a doctor or anything, but I think my exercising has essentially woken up my high metabolism. The high metabolism I used to have as a kid… when my sweat spot was free flowing. You see where I’m going with this? I have a theory that my mysterious sweat spot is linked to my metabolic rate.

I’ve done absolutely no research on this, but does anyone know? Can exercising rekindle a metabolism level from my youth? I'm not exaggerating when I say it's been sweating all day today. This hasn't happened in a long time.

So here I am in the middle of Week 4…

Ladies, have you ever seen a guy and said “I want to sink my teeth into that beef.”?

I want to be that guy. (Hey, why not? lol)

See you in a week!

Week 3: My Heart Skips a Few Beats, but Not on Valentine’s Day

I’m not sure how much I weigh. There was a plethora of projects that came across my desk this week and I simply forgot to weight myself. No biggie. And a few things came up this week that prevented me from exercising, but I was able to run/walk on the treadmill three days this past week for 30 minutes at a time. I even surpassed two miles a couple of times!

But on Wednesday, February 13, my heart skipped a few beats while using the treadmill. I figured that I was probably overdoing it and so I simply slowed down. The next time I ran/walked, I did a little more walking than running and all seemed well.

I got a haircut last weekend and now my sweat has nothing to stick to. It just simply rolls down my face and splashes onto the running deck. (Was that too much information? Probably.)

I’m trying to eat the right portions and avoid seconds and thirds, but Laura makes some damn good food and it’s really difficult.

Doesn’t that look good? That’s what she made for Valentine’s Day. It’s Rachel Ray’s Chicken Francese. And this…

… is Pots de Crème. That was for dessert. It was so rich that it made Donald Trump look more like Donald Chump! (That was funny, right?)

So without further ado, here’s me at the end of Week 3…

As you may recall, my Choose 2 Lose team is the Lean Squirrels. Our team captain, Kris, drew up this prize-winning poster.

Awesome!

So anyway, here’s the real me at the end of Week 3…

I think I’m making progress. I feel different. I have a lot more energy and a lot more confidence…perhaps a little too much confidence. I’ve even been looking into this…

Hmm. On second thought, maybe I’ll just volunteer or something.

Week 2: Choose the Shoes

I weigh 166 pounds. Two pounds down… not too bad!

This isn’t a diet. I’m not eating breath mints for lunch. I’m just simply being more aware of how much I eat and how much exercise I do. I still enjoy a lot of the foods I ate before this contest. I still drink pop (soda) and beer, but just less of it. I use the bulk of my lunchtime to exercise on the treadmill in Asbury’s Fitness Suite.

And as you may be able to tell from the photo above, I finally got new shoes… with the right orthotics! This happened because my supervisor, Audrey, (who is a coach for Team in Training) took me to Fleet Feet herself. (She didn’t believe I would go there myself.) She’s a regular there and knew they would be able to help me get exactly what I needed. I ended up getting a pair of Brooks Adrenalines. If you’re a runner, you probably know all about them. If you’re a Simpsons fan, think Assassins.

The shoes (and orthotics) really make the difference. I was able to complete a 30 minute walk/run without feeling like death. And I traveled a distance of nearly two miles!

No Powerthirst necessary!

So here’s me in the middle of Week 2…

And the Fitness Specialists at work have been very helpful. Every time they see me using a machine incorrectly or doing something wrong, they’re quick to assist!

At this rate, I may actually run this year’s Golden Mile!

I’m feeling good.

Feet Don't Fail Me Now!

I’ve started exercising!

I used the treadmill a few times last week and “rode” an ancient exercise bike on Friday for 20 minutes at Level 2. I think I’m off to a decent start.

Some people told me that my plan to gradually work my way up to running was not a good idea.  They suggested that I oscillate between walking and jogging… maybe three minutes of walking and one minute jogging and work my way up from there. I tried this on Thursday and it nearly killed by feet. A few people think I may need new shoes.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this four-year-old pair. I cut grass in them all the time! But I think my flat feet aren’t helping much either. They never used to hurt me this much before, but pounding them off the treadmill surely beat them down. Some of my Facebook friends (which are also my real-life friends) suggested I take my flat feet to Fleet Feet in Bethel Park and get sized up for a solid pair of shoes. I’m really considering it.

And, to be honest, I’m not big into “watching time”. I walked until I felt it was enough and jogged until I felt I couldn’t do much anymore. But I guarantee I did less jogging than walking.

Some people told me that maybe I was in so much pain because my body hasn’t moved like that since my late teens. Heck, it’s probably a combination of this and the shoes! *sigh*

I’ve been eating healthier too… and trying to stick to portion sizes. I ate a salad almost every day for lunch. One day, I had some kind of tuna in a pouch. When I opened it up, it was like some kind of fish paper. (It was neat and tasty, so I’m not complaining!)

I’m going to keep on keeping on. If all goes well, perhaps I’ll be able to live out the rest of my days between the pages of Kmart’s circulars modeling pajama pants. 

Week 1: The Weight is Over

I weigh 168 pounds.

If you’ve been in touch with me over the last few weeks, you probably know how eager I am to start this Choose 2 Lose competition. And if you’re familiar with my other blog, you probably have an idea on my relationship with fitness and exercise. It ain’t pretty.

I never used to be like this. When I was 17, I was five feet of twisted steel and sex appeal. My friends and I lifted weights in the back yard and played basketball in the grass. Real city kid stuff. My muscles had muscles and I wore a tight red tank top to show off my sculpted physique. I was at my physical prime and didn’t even realize it. If you’re my age or older, I’m sure you can relate. Life was very different at 17. But this is no Zac Efron movie.

Fast forward to today. I work full time, five days a week. I’m married and have a little girl (and another on the way). Summertime? Those three months seem to go by in a few weeks. I’m busy. I have commitments, responsibilities and bills. I’m 30. I have an adult life. And I now look like this…

You won’t see my black and white photo in front of Abercrombie & Fitch.

I know.  I’m not totally out of shape. And I’m well aware there are people in far worse condition than me. But I don’t want to get to that point either. I think I’m at a point where my weight and physique are manageable. But I have to start now.

I’ve been told by two different fitness professionals that I’ll have to run in order to slim down. Running was no problem at 17, but my 30^th year leaves me susceptible to foot pain (thanks to flat feet) and lack of stamina. The pros tell me that I’ll have to work my way up to the point of running… probably start by walking, follow up by briskly walking, continue by Mt. Lebanon-mom-walking and persist with jogging before I can start running. I’m told that I’ll have to challenge my body every so often in order to lose my tubby tummy.

I’m going to use the Fitness Suite at work daily beginning tomorrow. I was hoping to start today, but I just had too many meetings and couldn’t devote a solid 30 minutes. On the way home, I noticed a lot of people running up and down Bower Hill Road, taking advantage of the nice weather. Will I ever be like them? Only time will tell.

I’m told the first few weeks are the hardest. We shall see.

The Road to Wellness Kickoff

Today was the big Road toWellness Kickoff at work, and I was signing people up for the Choose 2 Lose challenge!

 A few of us played Just Dance 4 on Wii.

 And there was a pretty impressive salad bar.

And I met up with my team:  Lean Squirrels (think Mean Girls). Our motto is “We’re Mean Cause We’re Hungry!”

 And speaking of being hungry, my new salad diet is leaving me a little hungry in the afternoons. I think I may have to “beef” it up a little.

The first weigh-in is next week… and so is the next post! See you then!

Week 0: End Fat, Start Fit

Everyone is signing up for Choose 2 Lose this week. And just in case I’ve already lost you…

Choose 2 Lose is Asbury Heights’ answer to The Biggest Loser. Employees form teams of three or five and, over a period of about 12 weeks, try to lose as much weight as they can by exercising and eating healthy. The team with the highest percentage lost is the winner. The emphasis is on choice: you can choose to eat a breakfast sandwich with eggs and cheese and sausage or you can have yogurt, fruit and granola. In essence, you have to choose in order to lose. Your fate (and your weight) is in your hands.

Since the contest debuted in 2011, employees have lost over 500 lbs! And although I hope to lose some weight, my ultimate goal is to tone up my doughy midsection.

Goals

See my abs again

Tone up

Fit into that the outfit I bought for the summer

The Plan

Eat much of the same things I’m eating now but only less of it

Try to eat healthier

Exercise during lunch in the Fitness Suite at work

This Wednesday, we can wear our exercise outfits workout gear in celebration of the Road to Wellness Kickoff; a time for Asbury’s Wellness Committee to showcase this year’s wellness program and all the fun stuff (and requirements) associated with it. Since I’m a member of the Committee, I’ll be working the Choose 2 Lose booth and signing up teams for what I feel is going to be the biggest contest yet.

And in order to get my biggest, I’ve been eating as much as I can. For the last few weeks or so, I’ve been gorging myself with huge burritos, double Whoppers and slices of pizza like never before! (And I’m probably going to regret this around Week 5 when I’m wondering “Why can’t I lose this friggin’ weight?!”)

For the next post, I’m going to share a photo of myself so you can see just what I have to work with. And I won’t be wearing a shirt. I know… it’s a little risqué, especially since everyone at work may see it, but we can pretend that it’s a photo of me at the beach. Maybe I’ll even hold a pale and a shovel. It shouldn’t be too awkward then, right?

Tons of Fun on the Way!

Tons of fun coming soon! 

(Emphasis on the tons)