Weeks 8, 9 and 10: Can I Start Over Again?

I (still) weigh 164 pounds. At least I’m consistent.

This is a lot harder than I imagined. It’s even harder to control my eating habits while living with a pregnant wife. We always seem to have cake and cookies and pop and ice cream on hand. And Easter chocolates and sugary treats didn’t help either. I exercise three times a week (if I’m lucky) and I’ve been sitting around a lot more thanks to a free month of Netflix.

But since I still weigh 164 pounds, I’ve only crashed and not yet burned. I can still come out ahead, but I don’t think I’ll be the winner in this competition. Someone already lost over 20 pounds, and he’s carrying his team (The Slim Jims) to victory. I’m about to snap into a Slim Jim. Eat me.

So how did I lose momentum? Life happened. I became preoccupied by a multitude of things: switching cable providers, buying a new hot water tank, getting sick and tearing up the carpet in my basement. These things took priority over sit-ups and treadmills, but I’m okay with that. I live an adult life and I gots to do what I gots to do!

On the bright side, I’ve already made some lasting changes. I no longer eat such large portions and I don’t eat an entire bag of potato chips for lunch during the week. I used to say that I would only run if chased by a lion, but I find myself running… for fun! This may change whenever I start running outside, but thanks to the practice I’ve already had, I’m confident that I can outrun any lion that may come my way.

Week 7: Setbacks

I weigh almost as much as I did at Week 5. And I’m eating a white chocolate cranberry shortbread cookie as I write this. It tastes like it’s made entirely of butter. Yes, this train is slowing down.

We’re now at the halfway point for Choose 2 Lose and one of the participants already lost 24 pounds. How is this possible? I’m curious to know his tactics.

Within the last couple of weeks, my strategy seamlessly shifted from exercising daily and sticking to portion sizes to exercising less than 30 minutes a day (if at all) and consuming a lot more candy. I prefer Sugar Babies and Mike and Ike.

It all started to fall apart when I got sick. I put off exercising and focused on getting better. Then Laura got sick… and our hot water tank was leaking… and the carpet was ruined… and I had to tear it up… and I had to pay for emergency service to replace the water tank… and Chloe got sick… then Laura and Chloe were sick… and they’re still sick… and I may be getting sick again. So I drowned my sorrows with bags of buttered popcorn, bottles of soda and the sheer joy of being a lard ass.

Reality hit when I stepped on the official Choose 2 Lose scale. After all my efforts, I only lost one pound. Over the last week or so, I gained back four of the five pounds I lost, thus shaming my team, city and state.

At the moment, I’m focusing all my energy on avoiding the super virus that’s taken over Laura. I didn’t exercise today and I may not do so tomorrow. I need to beat this illness before it has a chance to take over. That’s my number one priority. It’s all about health, right?

“But, Jon, I exercise when I’m sick. It makes me stronger.”

Well good for you, anonymous super fit exercise guru. I’m a sissy and I like cookies. Give me the weekend and I’ll be 100%. I have another six weeks to go. It’s still anyone’s game.